[personal profile] imagines
This is what happens when I write during church. It stands on its own, but I say "part one" anyway, because by the time I was through writing it, I was already thinking of what would happen should Crowley meet Cain, Abraham, Noah, Jezebel, etc. etc. good God but there are a lot of people in the Bible. And Crowley-in-my-head wants to screw with them all. We'll see whether I get around to letting him.

The Bible According to Crowley, Part 1: The Beginning
Good Omens, Crowley gen (at least until Aziraphale shows up)
In which Crowley gives God constructive criticism.


Part 1: The Beginning

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth and all the angels.

And an angel opened his big mouth and said, "Lord, that was not thy best idea ever."

And God ignored the angel and created light.

And the angel looked upon the earth and said, "My goodness. That is something of an ugly lump. No offence."

And God took great offence indeed, put His fingers in His ears, and blanketed the earth in a protective atmosphere.

And the angel examined the future and saw that one day a hole would be torn in the atmosphere by the earth's inhabitants. And he said nothing, for he was not one to thwart wiles.

And God secretly agreed that the earth was rather an ugly lump, and He brought forth green things to cover the soil.

And the angel said, "That's the first bright thing thou hast done all week," and clapped God on His back.

And God barely kept Himself from smiting the angel, for His anger management classes had taught Him to think first, smite later. And He set lights in the sky around the earth, gigantic and glittering balls of—

"Gas," said the angel. And he snickered behind his hands.

And God forgave him, for he had only existed for a few days and could not yet be expected to be mature. And God placed upon the earth creatures of all shapes and sizes.

And the angel looked at the birds in the air, and the fish in the sea, and the beasts on the land, and the platypi that made him wonder if God was smoking something, and the Loch Ness monster. And his eyes widened, and he asked God, "Who's going to clean up after them all?"

And God said, "I'm one step ahead of thee." And He created a mirror to see what He looked like, and He molded dirt and water into two of his many images and breathed Life into them. And He set them upon the earth to do all the dirty work.

And the angel saw that it was very good. And he asked God to send him down there too.

And God, against His better judgement, did just as the angel asked.

Date: 2007-09-09 07:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] last-archangel.livejournal.com
Oh my God, I love it!

Date: 2007-09-09 07:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] imagines.livejournal.com
Thanks. :) Your icon is adorable-- who are those guys?

Date: 2007-09-09 07:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] last-archangel.livejournal.com
Paul Bettany as Aziraphale and Eric Bana as Crowley. They're my own personal GO casting (also featuring Milla Jovovich as War and Jeremy Irons as Famine). I'll be making full "film" posters eventually. :)

Date: 2007-09-09 08:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] imagines.livejournal.com
Ooh, I approve. XD Is it a movie cap? If so I want to see it.

Date: 2007-09-09 08:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] last-archangel.livejournal.com
No, currently there is no GO film in production. It was just a manip I made. Here (http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c377/terraphim86/angelsinthepark-1.gif) is the full picture.

Date: 2007-09-09 08:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] imagines.livejournal.com
I mean, is it a cap from a movie those two were both in? My IMDB skills are failing me. :p

Date: 2007-09-09 08:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] imagines.livejournal.com
...as are my reading skills. XD; Nevermind. Excellent manip.

Date: 2007-09-09 08:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] last-archangel.livejournal.com
Hehe, 'tis okay. And thank you.

My picture sources are escaping me right now...I think the Bana pic was a screencapture from "Munich" and the Bettany picture was from a magazine photoshoot. When I was making the manip, the purpose wasn't so much a cap from the film, but more like a promotional Vanity Fair spread or something. :)

Date: 2007-09-09 08:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kaberett.livejournal.com
Fab. :D

Moar!

Date: 2007-09-09 08:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] imagines.livejournal.com
Why thank you. ♥

Shall try for more. ...after psych studying, because I have an exam and exam > Crowley even though I don't like it. :(

Date: 2007-09-09 08:20 pm (UTC)
yubsie: (Default)
From: [personal profile] yubsie
*snerk* That's great. ;D

Date: 2007-09-09 08:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] imagines.livejournal.com
Thank you. :D

Date: 2007-09-09 08:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jedusor.livejournal.com
And an angel opened his big mouth and said, "Lord, that was not thy best idea ever."

*snerk* Reminds me of Douglas Adams. "In the beginning, the universe was created. This made a lot of people angry, and has been widely regarded as a bad idea."

Date: 2007-09-09 09:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] imagines.livejournal.com
Oh, good! You caught that. :D

Date: 2007-09-09 10:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] megdalina.livejournal.com
I had the exact same thought.

Date: 2007-09-09 09:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] smokexscribbles.livejournal.com
*snigger* "I'm one step ahead of thee."... And He set them upon the earth to do all the dirty work.

Love. <3

Date: 2007-09-09 09:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] imagines.livejournal.com
Thanks. :)

Date: 2007-09-09 10:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] megdalina.livejournal.com
Haha! I love it. Hope you do some more!

Date: 2007-09-09 10:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] imagines.livejournal.com
Thanks! I hope so too. XD I'd never written for GO before, and now I wonder why I haven't. It's so much fun to play with.

Date: 2007-09-09 11:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] caboca.livejournal.com
So brilliant.

I love tactless condenscending soontobesmitten Crowley. (Wasn't he Crawley at the time?)

I loved your expertly hilariously canonical phrasing. Gas. *smirk*

Thank you kindly, this brightened up my night... and allow me also to demand MOAR.

Date: 2007-09-09 11:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] imagines.livejournal.com
Thank you. XD I hope there will be Moar.

I think he was Crawley, yeah. But I am silly and don't like that name. Er. *bad GO fan, bad!*

Date: 2007-09-10 09:35 am (UTC)

Date: 2007-09-10 08:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vulgarweed.livejournal.com
HAHAHAHAH! Oh, that's hilarious. He was such a brat!

Date: 2007-09-10 09:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] imagines.livejournal.com
Thank you. XD

Date: 2007-09-10 08:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] youokayhoney.livejournal.com
AHAHA I love you.

Perfect. Perfectperfectperfect. Must make sure [livejournal.com profile] tecoa reads this.

And I don't like Crawley either. And avoid calling him that if at all physically possible. :|

Date: 2007-09-10 09:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] imagines.livejournal.com
Why thank you. :DDD

AHA! I'm not the only one. XD;

Date: 2007-09-10 09:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] youokayhoney.livejournal.com
You are most certainly welcome! :D

Not at all. Crawley = no.

Date: 2007-09-10 09:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] imagines.livejournal.com
We totally get why he changed it, yeah?

Date: 2007-09-10 11:36 pm (UTC)

Date: 2007-09-11 10:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] carmine-ink.livejournal.com
Haha! This made me chuckle. Great idea, and I'm looking forward to more! ;)

Date: 2007-09-12 03:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] imagines.livejournal.com
Thanks. :)

Date: 2007-09-12 11:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aramis-chan.livejournal.com
Eeeeee! Love!
I'll try to come up with more to say next time. I'm just happy you're writing GO-fic. And I rather like your characterisation of God. :)

Crawly doesn't like Crawly, so there can't be anything wrong with disliking the name!

Date: 2007-09-13 03:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] imagines.livejournal.com
Hee. :D Yeah, I always have to muddle about with a fandom for a good long while before I write in it. I usually read a HUGE amount of fic to see what's already been written. (Strangely, I don't do this with original fiction. But I'm less serious with original than with fanfic. Haha.)

That's my rationalization. 8D

Date: 2007-09-13 01:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kohl-eyed.livejournal.com
Love it, love it! XD; Crowley-God interactions ftw; have nothing intelligent to say about this unless "Bahaha yay Crowley" is an appropriate reaction.

Weirdly enough I am just rereading Good Omens. Good job, miss. :0 So prolific! So popular!

Date: 2007-09-13 03:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] imagines.livejournal.com
"Bahaha yay Crowley" is a reaction that makes me very happy. XD

FINALLY YOU ARE READING IT!! OMG. IS IT NOT BRILLIANT? :DDDDD Let me know when you finish, so I can squee at you and rec you things.

Date: 2007-09-13 04:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kohl-eyed.livejournal.com
Rereading, darling! Rereading! You can rec me things NOW! :D :D

Date: 2007-09-13 04:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] imagines.livejournal.com
......AHAHA okay I am still horrible at reading, apparently. Um. Yes. HAVE I recced you anything yet? Oh dear, I don't remember. I am going senile in my old age. *totters about*

Date: 2007-09-13 03:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] imagines.livejournal.com
By the way, you're the thirteenth unique commenter. That is somehow appropriate. And also awesome.

Date: 2007-09-13 04:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kohl-eyed.livejournal.com
Yay! (again)

Date: 2007-10-05 08:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nymphish.livejournal.com
*sniggers* that's excellent :D

*wanders off to read part 2*

Date: 2007-12-14 03:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lookingglass77.livejournal.com
Sweet nuts... *shakes head* This is perfect! Ah, Crowley, gotta love him. :D

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