New FO post ahoy!



Adding policy:
Most of my posts are locked, though fanfiction is nearly always public. I'll add anyone back for any reason, but please comment here first so I know who you are and how you found me. :)

Credit:
Friends-only banner by [livejournal.com profile] ivydoor at [livejournal.com profile] pyritehedera.
I spent all day debating whether to post this. And then I figured, well, some of you lot read zombie porn. As if you'll judge.

WARNING: Autassassinophilia...ish. Consensual gun violence. Not porn. Still kink. Still intense.

NOTES: Title refers to this kind of limit. This is totally defeating the point of being anon, but I might have left a prompt at [livejournal.com profile] cherrybina's post... and then this scene slammed into my brain and insisted that I write it. Idek, people. The first Inception fic I ever write and it's this. /0\

Limit )
[unlocked, in case you feel like reccing her work with it]

I'm not sure how to say this without it sounding very blunt: you've probably heard, if you read fantasy novels, but Diana Wynne Jones died yesterday.

Neil Gaiman wrote a lovely post about DWJ. I never noticed that Hexwood (one of my favorites) was dedicated to Gaiman. Bless. I also love that she and Gaiman have approximately the same hair in that photo. More bless.

The post got me thinking. (As well as crying. When people who have touched me have to leave forever, I cry.) I don't know if I have as much to say as he does, or if what I can say is as meaningful, but I wanted to say it.

It's because of [livejournal.com profile] kohl_eyed that I started reading DWJ's books (for which I will be forever grateful), and it's DWJ's fault that I admitted I love sci-fi, and also DWJ's fault that I learned you CAN mix witches and spacecraft and have it be amazing. DWJ is firmly on the list of authors who made me say, "Wait, you're allowed to do that?!" I believe that if you're a writer, it is absolutely necessary to realize you are allowed to write any and all stories that want to be told. If that's witches and spacecraft, then god damn, you go for it.

DWJ, along with Madeleine L'Engle (who is sadly also not here anymore), also taught me that women can be badass authors and badass protagonists. These two fantastic women wrote about girls who--yes--fell in love with boys, but A Wrinkle in Time and Howl's Moving Castle are not only about romance, because other things matter to these protagonists. Like having incredible adventures. And saving your family. And saving yourself. And believing in magic. And learning about the universe. And turning the average everyday fairytale on its head.

I'm fairly certain that my first brush with DWJ was through the movie Howl's Moving Castle. I loved and still love that movie, and when I realized that it was actually a book, I'm sure I threw my hands up in glee. So I read the book, and it was delightful.

Others of her books that I highly recommend are as follows:

• If you'd like to start with a taste of short stories (although it's more of a meal, at ~500 pages), there's her anthology called Unexpected Magic.

• If you're intrigued by the idea of witches and spacecraft, then A Sudden Wild Magic is for you. It's been a few years since I read it, but I seem to recall trying to decide if I liked ASWM or HMC better, and I was having serious trouble deciding.

• If you'd prefer something a little more serious, she wrote The Time of the Ghost, which I have a hard time describing without utterly spoiling. But here's an attempt: it is about memory loss, time travel, death, domestic violence, solving mysteries, identity, and (despite the ghostly protagonist) real life. I remember it also made me laugh a lot, which is quite a trick when handling the issues I listed, but DWJ was magic and could do that.

• The Homeward Bounders is NOT to be confused with Homeward Bound, for the record. The latter is about two dogs and a cat, and I liked it only when I was six or so. The former is about Them, who are playing a game with human lives. It is also about a boy named Jamie, who just wants to go home but is trapped playing his own (quite dangerous) game of choice and chance.

• Hexwood will hurt your brain. Badly. But if you love mixed-up timelines, non-linear narratives, and people actually being other people EXCEPT WHEN THEY'RE NOT--which I do--then this book is for you. You will lose track of what's going on. You're supposed to. DWJ wants you to. By the end of it, I felt I was entirely at her mercy, which was when she hit me over the head with the ending.

I have not read the Chrestomanci series, for which [livejournal.com profile] kohl_eyed might kill me in my sleep, but I hope to remedy this someday soon. I hear they are crazy good.

All of the above is to say that if you haven't read DWJ's books--or if you've only read a few (as I have)--then you should assuredly, definitely, without an inkling of a doubt, read them. Even if you don't like fantasy, because I don't think she was capable of writing "normal" fantasy. Even if you don't like sci-fi, because at one time, neither did I, and I still thought A Sudden Wild Magic was totally fabulous. Even if you've never heard of her, because no, she's not as famous as Neil Gaiman and Douglas Adams and so many other boys, but she damn well should be.
[I'mma make this one public 'cause why the hell not. Do what you will.]

Who else remembers the terms "lemon" and "lime" as applied to fanfic content? (A "lemon" being a story including graphic sex scenes; a "lime" being the fade-to-black sort where you know it happened but the story doesn't describe it. At least that was how I used the words.)

Cutting for discussion of the above. )
Quick thing for you tonight before I head to sleep, in case you haven't seen it:



Linked at AJE's Feb 4 liveblog.

The translation (lines are repeated):
Let's make Mubarak hear our voices. We all, one hand, requested one thing, leave leave leave ...
Down Down Hosni Mubarak, Down Down Hosni Mubarak ...
The people want to dismantle the regime ....
He is to go, we are not going ...
He is to go, we won't leave ...
We all, one hand, ask one thing, leave leave.


Fucking awesome--rough times turned into beautiful music. I wanna play it over and over; it's getting stuck in my head.

I don't think I knew a single word of Arabic before this all started... and now absolutely all of the Arabic I know is related to having a revolution.

Egypt #4

Feb. 3rd, 2011 10:39 pm
So, Egypt. This ain't a happy post. If you haven't been following it on your own, here's a rundown of the past couple of days. )

The reason I keep watching is that I want to make absolutely fucking certain that whatever happens doesn't happen in secret. Whether it goes beautifully, or whether everything goes to hell, I want to see it. I want to know that I saw it with my own eyes and that I will never forget it as long as I live.

Live feeds are really hard to find right now. It's not safe for journalists. I'm now getting most new info from Twitter.

Assortment of links. I'm sorry, I can't really write commentary, I feel numb from everything I have been seeing. I'm in information-overload and I'm so scared for these people.

The current livepost at ONTD_P.

The War on the Media in Egypt

Google doc of casualties (27 names right now)

A Guide: How Not To Say Stupid Stuff About Egypt

U.S. Lawmakers Weigh Ending Aid Until Mubarak Out

[eta: One more before I glue myself to AJE again. @Sandmonkey's account of why they're protesting & what's been happening. Heartwrenching & chilling. @Sandmonkey's twitter MAY have been regime-hacked--not sure but I saw a report he can't access it anymore. Who even fucking knows. They've played dirty before.]

As I write, it's 6:30 am in Cairo, 4th of Feb. After Friday prayers, which apparently are at noon, it's meant to be the "Day of Departure." (Mubarak's departure, that is.) Something big will probably happen. I hope to hell it doesn't get ugly, but for fuck's sake, it's already gotten ugly. I don't know what's going to happen.

I'm not sure what location this is, but it gives me hope and so I'm gonna post it.


Muslims, Christians, we are all Egyptians...


Love to you all. ♥ If you have any questions, ask... I have collected a truly insane number of links and might be able to help you out.
eta: New ONTD_P livepost just posted! Yay!

BAD SHIT GOING DOWN.

So, last night in Alexandria, there was an altercation between a pro-Mubarak group (who may have been plainclothes police and/or paid by the government to be there, said Al Jazeera) and the rest of the protestors. That was nasty enough.

Now it's gotten worse, this time in Cairo.

Cairo clashes fuel Egypt turmoil; "Hundreds injured as pro-Mubarak supporters attack protesters seeking president's ouster in Egyptian capital."
Protesters from both sides threw stones at each other in Tahrir Square, the epicentre of ongoing opposition demonstrations against President Hosni Mubarak for the past nine days.

Al Jazeera correspondents, reporting from the scene, said that more than 500 people had been injured in Wednesday's clashes that are still continuing.


Al Jazeera just reported that the offical numbers say one person has been killed and ~400 have been injured. (Witness reports say more people than that have died.)

[eta, 12 am Feb. 3 in Cairo: Now it's 1,500 injured & 3 dead.]

Military personnel in Tahrir Square are telling people to go home because of the attacks, but the person AJE was talking to who is in the square is afraid to leave because the thugs are outside the square, past the checkpoints. She believes it's safer to stay in the square because "The thugs are not that many; they haven't outnumbered us yet."

...omg. Witnesses have been taking ID cards from the attackers they capture, and it seems at least some really ARE government plants. Classy, Mubarak. CLASSY.

(Also, shots have been fired and the army denies it was them.)

eta: I wrote this bit yesterday, after AJE had showed some footage of pro-Mubarak demonstraters (whom I DON'T mean to say are entirely sent by the government! I believe they're real): Okay, they just showed some Mubarak supporters. And... I get that they're scared. It looks fucking terrifying to be there, in the middle of that uncertainty and stress and potential for violence. But... "if he were that bad, he'd have been forced out a long time ago"? Maybe people were too scared to try to force him out. (Y'know, because of the TORTURE he's been accused of) And it's great that Egypt didn't have any wars during his presidency, but what I'm hearing from the anti-gov people is less "yay, let's have some wars!" and more "dude, we need this fucking poverty shit to stop. ALSO THE TORTURE." So, yeah, I do feel for them, even if I disagree.


SOME HAPPIER NEWS.

Just as events in Tunisia helped spark the events in Egypt, now Egypt is effecting other changes:

Jordan's King Dismisses Cabinet After Protests
Jordan's King Abdullah II, bowing to public pressure, fired his government on Tuesday and tasked a new prime minister with quickly boosting economic opportunities and giving Jordanians a greater say in politics.

Yemen president not to extend term
Ali Abdullah Saleh, the Yemeni president, has backed down on a plan to rule his impoverished Arab country for life after mass protests demanding his ouster.

In an announcement on Wednesday, Saleh said he plans for elections in April had been scrapped along with constitutional amendments that would have seen him become president for life.


You know, just in case you thought the Middle East hated democracy or something. GO, MIDDLE EAST PEOPLE, GOOOO! \0/ Rock on with your bad icky-government-toppling selves! I love how these two rulers have apparently looked at Egypt, looked at their own just-starting-to-protest citizens, and gone OHHH FUCK, DNW, LEMME JUST...FIX SHIT RIGHT NOW. Hahaaaa.


NEWS OF ANNOYING PEOPLE FROM THE U.S. GOVERNMENT.

Mike Huckabee, a Republican who really really wants to be president of the U.S., is Worried About “Cascading Effect” Of Democracy Across Middle East. Translation: OMG WE CAN'T LET MUSLIMS RULE THEIR OWN COUNTRIES!!! They might hate America or something! (ONTD_P responded with LOLLL stop saying words. Good times.)


LINKS OF INTEREST.

Five Things You Need to Know about the Egyptian Armed Forces
Fascinating article on the structure and strategy of the Egyptian army, especially if you've been as curious as me as to why they haven't attacked protesters.

Translations of some of the Egyptians' chants. I know zero Arabic, but I adore languages and I've been dead curious to know what the protestors are saying. The rhythm of "Al Sha'ab yoreed isqat al nizam" always gives me chills whenever all of Tahrir Square starts shouting it. ♥

[WARNING: GRAPHIC PHOTOS.] Two gigantic galleries of fucking stunning photos: The Egypt Protests; The Egypt Protests Part 2. These are mostly photos of protesters vs. riot police earlier in the protests. The second link is not as bad as the first; the worst it gets are a couple of photos of injured, bleeding people. The first link, though, contains several up-close photos of a man who was shot and killed. They're numbers 21, 22, and 23 if you want to try to scroll past, but I warn that it's almost impossible not to see them. I think the rest of the galleries are worth seeing, though, so I'm linking them anyway.

source


I am SO glad I have a snow day today, because all I wanna do is watch Al Jazeera.

There was this plan for one million people to meet up in Tahrir Square before marching to the presidential palace tonight [Cairo time]. (NOTE: According to @sharifkouddous, the march to the palace may not occur today: link 1, link 2.)

...It's approaching 6:45 pm in Cairo, and there are currently about two million people in the square and surrounding areas. And more keep arriving, despite the fact that the gov STOPPED THE TRAINS to try to prevent it.

There are also enormous demonstrations in Alexandria (hundreds of thousands of people, I'm hearing), Suez (don't know how many, probably a lot), and presumably elsewhere as well.

State TV has been broadcasting quiet streets, pleas for people to stay home, and pro-Mubarak rallies. (Those rallies are kinda... small, in comparison.) I don't deny that there are people who are pro-Mubarak. To me, the issue here is that state TV is frantically insisting that NOBODY IS UNHAPPY, NOPE, NOBODY AT ALL!!!

But you don't pretend that two million people aren't shouting in Tahrir Square unless you're really quite worried about them.

I think it's incredibly smart of the army to stand by and allow the demonstrations to happen for the most part. They lack the numbers to end the protests by force, and they know it. More strikingly, they simply refuse to take offensive action against their own people, which is how it should be. This is counter to the riot police at the beginning of this who did NO GOOD AT ALL by shooting at protesters. IMO, the army/protesters dynamic is one of the most fascinating things about this. (According to Al Jazeera, the army is helping to prevent police from infiltrating the demonstrators.) Check it out:

Egypt army: will not use violence against citizens (Reuters)
"The presence of the army in the streets is for your sake and to ensure your safety and wellbeing. The armed forces will not resort to use of force against our great people...

Your armed forces, who are aware of the legitimacy of your demands and are keen to assume their responsibility in protecting the nation and the citizens, affirms that freedom of expression through peaceful means is guaranteed to everybody."


And now for an assortment of links I enjoyed:

Kragen @ Canonical || Why Egypt’s popular rebellion is the greatest historical event in a decade, and how Barack Obama missed the boat.
Three days ago, I read Barack Obama’s State of the Union address. He delivered it on the same day that the #Jan25 protests began in Egypt. I was dismayed that he didn’t mention the protests at all, because they’re more important than almost everything he did mention. This essay is an attempt to explain why they are so important, why Obama ignored them, and what the possible results of that choice could be.

Wikileaks || cable 07CAIRO1417, PRESIDENTIAL SUCCESSION IN EGYPT
Wikileaks bringing funtimes speculation from way back in 2007 on what could happen if Mubarak actually steps down. In short: expect "an anti-American tone" from the successor. Honestly, I think my ego can survive if that happens. It's not like my country hasn't spouted anti-Middle East sentiment for as long as I can remember. We dished it; we can take it. (P.S. If the all-caps hurts your eyes, use this handy tool to convert it.)

MediaBistro || Youth in Egypt Protect Libraries
THESE FUCKING EGYPTIAN YOUTH, YOU GUYS. They can organize protests, direct traffic, set up security checkpoints, and save the Library of Alexandria. Rock the fuck on!

Salon || Why can't we watch Al Jazeera?
Originally published in 2008, this article explains the difficulty of finding Al Jazeera anywhere that's not online, if you're in the United States. You can also read it here at [livejournal.com profile] ontd_political if you prefer their formatting.

YouTube || The Most AMAZING video on the internet #Egypt #jan25
Fucking makes me cry every time I watch it. Which I do, a lot, because I love it. Especially the dude who belives political rights are more important than your religion. FUCK YEAH.

HuffPost || Anderson Cooper In Egypt: 'Nobody Has Any Answers For What's Going To Happen Here'
Cooper said he did not know when he would leave Egypt. "I'm not even sure how to get out at this point." Anderson Cooper: STILL A BADASS.

If Twitter is your thing:
@AJELive, Al Jazeera's feed
@beleidy, freelance writer in Cairo
@monasosh, Egyptian blogger
@TheReal_Mubarak, for big lulz

And in case you somehow haven't seen it yet, or have not seen the big, beautiful version:


(click for very big)
If you are following Egypt news, today I'll be focused on:
• Al Jazeera live coverage of Tahrir Square
• @sharifkouddous, who is currently at Tahrir Square as well
• BBC live coverage in text

That's thousands and thousands of people ignoring the curfew. Holy crap. And they were getting buzzed by fighter jets about an hour ago. (They were unfazed by said fighter jets.)

And if you're wondering what the hell is going on anyway, I like this Mother Jones post.

eta: I'm just gonna keep dumping links here.

Live From the Egyptian Revolution by Sharif Kouddous
There is a great sense of pride that this is a leaderless movement organized by the people. A genuine popular revolt. It was not organized by opposition movements, though they have now joined the protesters in Tahrir. The Muslim Brotherhood was out in full force today. At one point they began chanting "Allah Akbar" only to be drowned out by much louder chants of "Muslim, Christian, we are all Egyptian."


HELL YEAH.

6:45 pm Cairo time: Al Jazeera estimating 1,000,000 people in the square; Mohammed Elbaradei has joined protestors there.

DO NOT FUCK WITH THE WOMEN OF EGYPT. hiiii, they're my heroes.
Have fixed horrendous lack of an icon for my new OT3 OF MY HEART. The world may now proceed as usual. And my list of things to rec to you is getting extremely long--let's cut it down a bit, shall we?

DOCTOR WHO FICS: Eleven/Amy/Rory

[eta: I just realised, EVERY SINGLE ONE is Rory-centric, so there's no point labeling each one as so. BRING ON MORE RORY.]

It would seem I am not capable of reccing any other DW ship at the moment. Wait--what am I talking about? THERE IS NO OTHER SHIP.

A Good Cup of Tea Solves Everything by [livejournal.com profile] toestastegood
PORNS
Spoilers through "The Big Bang," so I'm not even posting the summary.

I love the dynamic in this; it's ADORBS. Eleven trying to be nurturing and sort of getting it right! Amy doing pouncing! Tea! YAY!

Vita Longa by Sam Storyteller (who can do no wrong)
PG-13
Spoilers through "The Big Bang."
Rory's life is a romance, but definitely not the one he expected.

Again with the ADORBS. Also there is Amy Pond explaining the meaning of marriage, which is GREAT STUFF, YOU GUYS.

• Mistletoe by [livejournal.com profile] mixtapestar
PG-13
Rory runs into some paralyzing trouble on a new planet.

This story! Omg. It's so clever and lovely and I really felt like I was watching an episode. It just had that utterly charming THEM feeling, and awwww the cute little mistles and HOW THEY ARE DEALT WITH.

• One Hell of an Antidote by [livejournal.com profile] mixtapestar
PORNS
Rory finds he's doing a lot of unexpected things with his life. Constantly seeing things that should be impossible, loving in perhaps unconventional ways, and way more running than he anticipated. He wouldn't give it up for anything.

And THIS one is 25k of AWESOME. I am waaay jealous of [livejournal.com profile] mixtapestar's ability to create new creatures for the 'verse. PACHMUNKS ARE LOVE.
I still don't have an Eleven or an Amy icon. Must fix that soon. Sorry, Ten. ♥

I have spent most of today reading DW S5 fic. This is quite a trick, considering I've only seen four episodes of S5, and thus can only read a) things that won't spoil me or b) things that could spoil me if I knew enough to notice, but I don't know enough, so I'm safe.

Mostly, I have been reading stories about Amy Pond, who is GLORIOUS and BEAUTIFUL and I LOVE HER TO BITS. She might, might just edge out Donna for My Favourite Companion. And then only because I would interact with Donna as if she were an Awesome Aunt, whereas I would totally be BFFs with Amy. They're both fantastic; it's just that Amy clicks with me even harder because she is exactly my age.

So, yes, anyway! Lots of fic about Amy. Lots of fic where Amy has lots of sex, generally with Eleven but sometimes with Rory. GOD, THERE IS SOME NICE FIC IN THIS FANDOM. Why did I rarely read any before? Oh, right, because all the other companions BROKE MY HEART all the time and I kind of prefer happy fic right now.

I am calling this reclist (hopefully the first of many?) "In which Amy Pond ROCKS YOUR FACE OFF, don't even start." HERE:

The Care and Feeding of Tiny Humans (and slightly larger Time Lords) by Netgirl_y2k
Gen
The one where the Doctor comes back for little Amelia Pond.

THIS FIC. ♥♥♥ It is ENORMOUSLY adorable the whole way through. I want to quote it ALL at you, but I'll stick with this bit:

"Amelia!" the Doctor shouted from outside the TARDIS. "Press the green button down for a count of five hippopotamuses, turn the fishing reel counter clockwise six times and then ding the bell!"

"I can't. They're too high."


{and swallow fireflies} by [livejournal.com profile] paperclipbitch
PG-13
"a bit Amy/Eleven, a bit Amy/Rory"
She’s not the mentally ill one here, really, and she still can’t eat custard, ten years later.

This is a ficmix interspersed with seventeen vignettes, all of which blew my mind. Sweet and candy-bright and a little bit tragic. Also, just the tiniest bit of hot.

'cause you're the sweetest thing by monanotlisa @ DW.
PORNS
Amy/Eleven
Spoilers: fic is labeled for post-5x05, but I ignored that and read it even though I haven't seen 5x05, and I don't feel spoiled. Nothing jumped out at me as "OMG HERE IS A HUGE THING YOU SHOULDN'T KNOW YET."

Sooo here was me thinking I didn't really read sex-pollen fic. But this one caught my eye, so I gave it a shot, and--um, nrgh. It is kind of hot like burning. [Deleted: my thoughts on sex-pollen, because I got Thinky after reading this one, buuut I am just writing a reclist here. So, yeah, thoughts for another day.]

Here is a picspam of Matt and Karen doing the hot/adorable thing they do.

To Last Forever by [livejournal.com profile] gryffens
PORNS.
Amy/Eleven/VINCENT VAN GOGH :D:D:D
Apparently spoilery for 5x10, but LALALA HOW WOULD I KNOW.

I'mma just post this one line because it is representative of all that I find hot and beautiful about this story.

"Shh, it’s all right," the Doctor whispers encouragingly into Vincent's ear. "She’s beautiful, our girl, isn't she? So bright and brave and kind, and really quite fit, wouldn't you agree?"

(Gosh, LJ, I just cannot tell you how gleeful I am about all the fic about Amy where she is like YAY SEX! and everyone around her is like WOO! and doesn't yell at her for liking it. ♥)

tourist by [livejournal.com profile] sangga
PG-13
Amy/Eleven
lalala what spoilers?
He’s thinking of his skin, and the expression "it’s bigger on the inside."

The best bit about this fic is, um, EVERYTHING. /eloquent! I know! But it made me feel things, all right, and I enjoy words wot make me feel things. I also like that this written Doctor has that tiny, tiny touch of evilness/cruelty that pops up in his character every once in a great while. I ALSO like the line "He hates feeling like a tourist," and I think you'll see why, if you read it.

The author also posted notes on "tourist", which I greatly enjoyed reading because it sounds like their writing process is a hell of a lot like mine:

I write down snatches of dialogue, or something that I think needs to be said/thought/noted, and then build a short scene or aside around it. Once I think I've got enough bits, I start arranging an order, which is generally narratively chronological, and then I can round it off with the last few scenes...


I'm not sure I've run into anyone else who (told me they) write like that. But it's what I do, and every time I try something more structured, it flops. I get little sparks in my head--words, phrases, dialogue--and I write them down, and if I'm very very lucky, I can build something around it. But I have to have that spark. I never write from beginning to end unless it's one of those fantastic occasions when a story bounces into my head almost fully-formed.
Am doing big clearing-out of flist--just dead journals, I think. There were a couple of accidents that I think I fixed, but if I removed you and you are NOT dead and want to stay, by all means let me know. :)

[comments screened]
I have been thinking about this for a time, and right now I have a pounding headache and I'm feeling pissed off at culture, so the time is right to condense my thoughts.

It is not my obligation to adhere to the prevailing cultural standards of female beauty so that other people will feel aesthetic pleasure upon looking at me.

what became an essay )
Well, that was quite an episode. massive spoilers + reaction )

New episode in 20 minutes! Wheeeee!
I am making this post public. If you see fit to link it, you may do so.

I.O.C. Panel Calls for Treatment in Sex Ambiguity Cases

Athletes who identify themselves as female but have medical disorders that give them masculine characteristics should have their disorders diagnosed and treated, [a panel of medical experts convened by the International Olympic Committee] concluded after two days of meetings in Miami Beach. The experts also said that rules should be put in place for determining an athlete’s eligibility to compete on a case-by-case basis — but they did not indicate what those rules should be.


Translation: it doesn't matter if you like yourself how you are. It doesn't matter if your "disorder" is causing you zero physical or mental harm. If you are "female" but you have "masculine characteristics," you gotta get that shit FIXED.

And I just wrote an essay. )
I like how this icon is appropriate for H/W and RDJ/Jude ALL AT ONCE.

NOTE: You know what? I have never been backstage of a theater. I have no fucking clue what they have back there. For my purposes, my completely-made-up theater has a laundry room, just because I WROTE IT, AND I WANTED ONE, SO THERE! And anyway, it's [livejournal.com profile] kohl_eyed's fault. All of this is completely her fault. Blame her. I CAN'T BELIEVE I WROTE THIS, OH MY GOD. SIMONE, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?

Anyway. This is the fic where Robert has a fantasy about Jude in drag (because in my head, RDJ loves Rage). And then they have sex. On a washing machine. NOT MY FAULT.

Oh, and if you haven't seen Jude Law's part in Rage, you are missing out. ...I may have listened to it over and over while writing this. For inspiration. Yep.

here be porn (DID I MENTION, NOT WORKSAFE?) )

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